Until the 80’s came and it was time for Ozone Depletion. Man-made. Gonna kill everyone unless my mom gave up her hairspray..
… Good luck with that one, by the way.
Then in the 90’s it was Over-Population. No food, no water, no life – we’d all be dead soon..
But that was nothing compared to… drum roll please:
GLOBAL WARMING !!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Rising tides, dead polar bears, desert sands covering the earth because of … wait for it:
Man-made global warming.
98% of scientists agree we’re all gonna be dead from Global Warming if we don’t send our hard-earned tax-dollars to Al Gore and Company. There was even an Academy Award in it for Al, in addtion to a couple hundred million dollars for playing the role of Chicken Little.
The Debate was over…
Not so fast there, rub-down boy! The earth once again didn’t cooperate with the Maoist wannabes who only want your money redistributed, so they came up with the ultimate catch-all: “Climate Change”!!!! Which pretty much means no matter what happens, it’s your fault because you are pursuing happiness and doggone-it, that’s bad for everybody.
Well, if Al Gore really thought the tides were going to rise, I doubt he would have purchased a seaside mansion in California, right? Wouldn’t he buy in the mountains? He’s a smart guy, right?
Smart enough to know the whole thing is a scam..
Well guess what? “Climate Change” is out and “Global Cooling” is back in. Just like old torn up jeans with oil stains selling at Abercrombie & Fitch for $200, good ole’ Global Cooling is back in style, baby.
Turns out we’re in a cosmic cooling trend and have been for some time now. 4-500 years to be not so exact, so guess what? That’s right, send your tax dollars somewhere to stop it, darn you!!
A team of European researchers have unveiled a scientific model showing that the Earth is likely to experience a “mini ice age” from 2030 to 2040 as a result of decreased solar activity.
Their findings will infuriate environmental campaigners who argue by 2030 we could be facing increased sea levels and flooding due to glacial melt at the poles.
However, at the National Astronomy Meeting in Wales, Northumbria University professor Valentina Zharkova said fluctuations an 11-year cycle of solar activity the sun goes through would be responsible for a freeze, the like of which has not been experienced since the 1600s.
From 1645 to 1715 global temperatures dropped due to low solar activity so much that the planet experienced a 70-year ice age known as Maunder Minimum which saw the River Thames in London completely frozen.
The researchers have now developed a “double dynamo “model that can better predict when the next freeze will be.
Based on current cycles, they predict solar activity dwindling for ten years from 2030.
Professor Zharkova said two magnetic waves will cancel each other out in about 2030, leading to a drop in sun spots and solar flares of about 60 per cent.
So there you have it. Get your parka because things are gonna start freezing up – especially your bank account, if the Marxists prevail…